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[25 Nov 2004|11:57am] |
new journal= slay_me__
add me, comment on the first entry, and i'll probably add you.
if i don't, ask me why.
IM: xshouldbeblonde
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[07 Nov 2004|10:34am] |
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none, kory's sleeping |
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nothing much to say right now..
i softened up and told all of you girls who i like. heh, didn't take too long. like i said, i don't want anyone to tell him. or say anything to him, because i'm still not sure of myself.
last week i worked over 29 hours, this week i'm scheduled for 27. money is awesome, but having no time is not. monday i get to go from school, to driver's ed, to work. sounds like fun, huh? + thursday i have the day off from school, but still have to work. really sucks, but i dunno. i guess it shall be a fun day anyways. :D
trying to stop dirnking 21873842398579 coffees a day. i had decaf last night. not that bad, when you put caramel flavoring in it. i guess i can live, considering i got to fall asleep at a reasonable time.
krittle, where are you? i miss you, chica! i will call you from work tonight; i haven't talked to you all weekend.
<3 kristin
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| do it now, bitches! |
[02 Nov 2004|10:16pm] |
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mood |
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 flirty |
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Please fill this out about me...honestly.im really curious to find out what people think.
A nickname only you call me:
An inside joke we have:
A time where we were intimate:
Something I do that makes you laugh:
Something about me that sets me apart from others:
A word or phrase I say a lot when with you:
Something distinct you notice on me:
Have we kissed before?
Have we hugged?
Have we held hands?
Have we danced?
Is there something you want to tell me?
One thing you'd like to do with me:
When you see me you feel:
An article of clothing I wear that you like a lot:
Have I given you a present?
Have you given me a present?
Will you see me anytime soon?
Do we talk on the phone a lot?
Something I do that makes you incredibly nervous:
Do we share a secret?
Something I say or do that makes you blush:
Decribe me in three words:
How have I affected you?
The next time we're together, you want to:
Do you think about me a lot on your spare time?
If so, how often?
Could you come to me for advice?
Are we a lot alike?
Have you had a dream about me?
If so, what was my role in the dream?
The emotion you tend to hide the most around me:
The emotion you tend to experience the most around me:
Something you've wanted to say to me but are too scared:
Regarding me, you really regret:
You've been jelous because:
A song that reminds you of me:
Do I scare you?
Something I said or did that you found extremely attractive:
An intellectual ability you find attractive:
A personality trait you find attractive:
A physical trait you find attractive:
Your favorite thing about me:
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| surveyyy |
[28 Oct 2004|08:16pm] |
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 predatory |
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none |
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13 Random things you like
1. hanging out with my friends
2. music
3. driving
4. spanish
5. movies
6. shopping
7. coffee
8. sex
9. holidays
10. guys
11. boston red sox
12. smirnoff twisted-> raspberry, green apple, orange
13. getting good grades (hey, it makes me feel smart.)
12 Favorite Movies
1. the butterfly effect
2. gothika
3. jawbreaker
4. boys + girls
5. the fast and the furious
6. coyote ugly
7. all 3 american pies
8. ocean's eleven
9. 10 things i hate about you
10. all of the nightmare on elm streets
11. save the last dance
12. sweet home alabama (omg, i almost forgot that one, krittle! can you believe it?)
11 Good bands/artists
1. maroon 5
2. staind
3. rob zombie
4. 3 doors down
5. nickelback
6. linkin park
7. story of the year
8. 112 (even though i'm not a rap person anymore, i still <3 their songs)
9. eminem
10. juvenile (slow moshun fo' me & back that ass up, lol krittle)
11. matchbox 20
10 Good friends- No order whatsoever!
1. Krittle
2. Tanya
3. Susan
4. Alise
5. Laura
6. Erika
7. Nia
8. Geoff
9. Megan (from LJ, she'll listen to me bitch whenever.)
10. Sean
9 Favorite Foods/drinks
1. Any kind of chicken salad
2. Roast Beef
3. Ramen
4. Bagels + Cream Cheese
5. Chocolate
6. Chicken
7. Fries
8. Chocolate covered strawberries
9. Caramel apples
8 Things about you physically
1. Brown eyes
2. Red hair-- natural, of course
3. 5'7"
4. Size 8 1/2 shoe
5. Big boobs, lol, but i'm sure you all knew that
6. tiny arms + wrists
7. Straight teeth
8. Yucky nails
7 Things that annoy you/that you hate with a fiery passion
1. Stupidity
2. Work
3. Friends who have to move :(
4. When people are mad at me + don't tell me
5. When people don't do their share of work
6. Getting up early
7. Ghetto brothers
6 Things you want to do before you die
1. Write a full book, lol
2. Travel the world
3. Go rock climbing
4. Skydive
5. Go to college
6. Find a dog like my old one. I miss him.
5 Things you wear daily
1. Bra
2. Sweatshirt
3. Underwear
4. Clothes from Pacsun
5. Shoes
4 Shows you watch
1. Buffy
2. Baseball
3. Forensic Files
4. I, Detective.
3 Cool Celebrities
1. Julia Stiles
2. Jodi Picoult
3. Manny Ramirez
2 Things you love
1. My friends
2. My family
1 person you could spend the rest of your life with
1. Usher, love those abs. Yummy.
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| the curse has been reversed. |
[28 Oct 2004|11:04am] |
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*victory dance*
the red sox won the world series last night. the curse is reversed; screw you, bambino! i love them so much. today i get to give my presentation on manny ramirez in spanish. i have to speak in complete spanish for three minutes. eek. i'm going to stutter and stammer. plus, i don't know anyone in my class. that's always fun. i wish i had more juniors in it with me.
my cat is gimpy. his paws are all scabby and stuff from getting declawed, and he's limping really bad. the dog bit a hole in her tail trying to get the bandages off, so she has to wear one of those lampshade thingies. lol. it's so funny.
my parents are going away for the weekend, so it shall be fun. i'm hoping to have some friends over.. late night of course, since i don't get out of work until around 9:30. maybe it'll be a ton of fun. i could use something to relieve my stress. *wink* but i'll be good. i promise.
i guess that's all i have to say. love you all. miss you much, susan.
-kristin
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| friends only |
[25 Jul 2004|09:24am] |
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hey everyone, i'm in the process of making this friends only. people don't need to read about what i do and my spare time and judge me on it, then be complete bitches. so, yeah, anyway.. enjoy if you're one of the people on my list.
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| ♥ you get me closer to god |
[08 May 2004|09:58pm] |
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NIN "Closer" |
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♥ the rest of my vacation was okay, but school really sucks. i really DON'T want to be there anymore. i just can't stand it...or the people in it. i'm really having trouble with some of the things i'm doing in some of my classes, too. that's really weird for me, and i don't really do well with change.
♥ i'm still really upset about my dog, but we got his ashes back last night. i went with my mom right after i got home from going to the mall with krystle and nia. it was odd looking, but it made me feel better. i think it kinda gave me a little bit of closure. so yeah...it's still really weird not having him around. i hate it, so much, but i think all the stressers in my life are helping me out. in some fucked up way..i mean, i'm writing again..a lot of creative stuff. poems, and stories, and that kind of stuff. stuff that i'm not showing anyone, and i think that it's really good..for once in my life, i like it. a lot. it makes me happy. :D
♥ other than that, there's nothing really going on. my life's boring, what can i say? lol
♥ kristin
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| ♥ so hard to say good-bye |
[30 Apr 2004|09:54am] |
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none. silence. |
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♥ this week was supposed to make me feel better. i was supposed to take a mental break from everything, and bam. i continue to take hits, over and over and over again. i've been struck so hard this time that i can't even really imagine just "bouncing back" from it. it hasn't even really sunk in yet...
♥ yesterday, my dog was shaking so violently on the bed that he woke me up. i looked over at him, thinking he was having a nightmare, and saw that he was drooling a lot and this wasn't normal shaking. i thought that he could be choking, either on his tongue or vomit, so i brought him over to the side of the bed and tried to get his head to point down. when i did that, the shakes got worse and he fell off the bed, continuing the same actions on the hardwood floors. i ran into the kitchen and called my mom, she didn't know what i should do, except for getting him outside. his shaking stopped, but restarted a few minutes later. i was freaking out and crying; i love my dog so much. eventually, i got him hooked up to the leash and got him outside.i cleaned up my mom's room (that's where we were since i had slept on the couch and moved in there after my rents went to work) and brought a big blanket outside. i laid out there, just watching him, and he was acting like he didn't even know who i was. i fed him some lunchmeat, just to see if he would eat it, and he did. that made me feel a lot better, and i got him to drink some water. my mom came home for a few minutes and we decided to take him to the vet. he wasn't acting like himself. my mom cooked him some eggs before we left, and that was that.
♥ at the vet, he started to lose control of his urine. there were drops just falling out at random, but the vet confirmed my suspicions -- he had had a seizure. she said that it usually doesn't occur in older dogs unless there's something severely wrong metabolically, or if they have cancer. instead of jumping to conclusions and putting my krash down, they took blood from him. ultimately, it was my decision. i wanted him to have a shot to make it. i love him so much. he's been so good to me.
♥ we brought him home, and he was fine. he ate more eggs, drank a lot of water, and walked around. we gave him a tylenol to help his muscle pain the vet had told us about, and he seemed to come around a little bit. until around 8:15, he was fine. then he had another seizure. my mom had to hold him down so that he didn't hurt himself. at that point, my parents had no choice. we had to take him tobe put down. my mom and i went, and i felt so awful. i didn't want krash to die. i wanted to have him with me. i knew he was in pain, but i really did want him to stay with me. when we reached the place, i broke down. krash was looking so much better after that second seizure. what if it had corrected whatever was bothering him? that didn't matter, though, because we didn't even know what was bringing them on.
♥ at around 9, they gave him the shot. it killed him almost instantly. i'm glad that krash didn't have time to think about it, or to have any pain. i wouldn't want that. i wouldn't want him to be mad at me. i just didn't want to see him suffer anymore, you know?and that was the hardest thing i've ever done. i couldn't even watch the vet give him the needle. i broke down so badly, and i've been crying ever since it happened. when i woke up this morning, i thought to myself, "i need to let the dog out" because that's the first thing i did almost everyday for 4 years and 3 days. we got my dog on april 26th, 2000, and put him down on april 29th, 2004. in that time, i got more attached to him then i ever have to anything else. my heart is so broken right now, and it's hard to breathe. my eyes are stinging from crying, and i just need to talk to someone. i just don't know who would possibly understand this...and everyone's away, anyways. i have his collar, leash, and his ashes will be here in two weeks. can you believe that it costs $239 to get them back? i can't.
♥ i love you, krash, and you'll always be in my heart. you're the best friend i've ever had and i miss you so much already. i'm sorry that you were hurting, and that i had to choose to end your suffering. you know that i wanted you here with me and that i need you still. i love you, and i'm sorry if i ever did anything to hurt you. good-bye.
♥ kristin
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| ♥ save the drama for your mama |
[23 Apr 2004|02:55pm] |
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none. silence. |
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♥ honestly, i'm fucking sick of everyone who's creating a scene at school. whether it's storming down a hallway and knocking people over, crying, fighting, screaming..i don't really fucking care what form it's in, it's really beginning to wear on my nerves! i mean, i try to be nice and comfort my friends when they're upset. and yeah, i've gotten upset a few times, too, but when it starts interfering with the school day and everything related to it..afterschool activities or whatever..it's way too much. at least when i'm upset, i just lay my head down on the desk and say i'm tired. sometimes i'm actually tired, but other times, i just don't want to deal with anyone's shit. or sometimes i start to focus on what i'm doing really hard and try to look busy. it's always "poor me, poor me, he doesn't like me anymore." or "lyke omg, i can't believe that amy would do that to me!!!!" it gets fucking irritating, you know? as a bystander to a lot of drama from my friends, i really have to say it's one of the most annoying things in the world. that's enough though. rawr.
♥ on another drama-filled note, we had a threat at our school today. it said something along the lines of "roses are red, violets are black, fuck goffstown high, columbine's back" so our school was in a lockdown for like, two hours. cool kids, you know. at least it gave me a good topic to pounce on for the paper spotlight. instead of having a main editorial, we now have a main letter to the editor... written by an editor. so, i used "dear fellow editors." so clever, right? the paper's still not finished..i think mrs. neller was going to stay tonight to work on it, but i just didn't feel like it. you know? i've been there every night this week, and i can't do that. i can't work like that. i need a break once and awhile. thank god vacation is this week and there's not gonna be much to do. i'm going to work on articles and stuff for the paper (the next one) and just work or relax.
♥ i see that none of you did my survey. blah on all of you for that. :P i'm sure i'm going to be writing a lot this week, so i'll post more. but until then, i want to just get some rest. talk to you all soon.. :D
♥ kristin
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| fill it out, homies! |
[19 Apr 2004|10:24am] |
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I? and another one
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I loveable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
29. How well do you know me?
29. When's the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?
32. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?
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| ♥ running away from the streets we knew |
[19 Apr 2004|09:52am] |
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none, at school |
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♥ my mom got her new car on saturday. i drove it, too. :D yay. i can't wait to start driver's ed and to get my license. krittle should have hers in about a month, so that'll be cool. (krittle, i ♥ you. and i'm sorry about what happened with your superbitch mom today.
♥ i worked a shift yesterday that was about 10 hours. blah. it was so boring, and i never ever wanna do that again. i don't think that i'm going to go to exxon for the entire week because i'm so sick of being there. if i didn't have to work, i don't think i'd go there at all. i know that i'm going to spend the majority of my vacation there, though, because we're shorthanded again. you know how it is, if you work and all.
♥ everyone's going away for vacation. *tear* i'm going to be a big loner. i wish i was going somewhere, but nope. i'm gonna be working almost every day again, which means a big paycheck, but no fun time for kristin. i'm going to miss mi krittle! no sex with her for eight days, man, i'm gonna die! susan's taking her to florida, so susan won't be around. tanya's going to washington d.c. and sean's going to texas, so work will most likely be really boring. erika just told me she might be going to her grandmother's, so pshhh on her! laura's going to be home for most of the time, so i can hang out with her at some point. i gotta find out if alise is doing anything. weee. :D
♥ david is so hot. he came to visit me at work twice yesterday. :D he was going to come back around six, but i left because i just couldn't be there anymore. it was so boring. i scrubbed sidewalks; that's always fun.
♥ well, i should go. if the library nazi catches me on heer, i'll be in a lot of trouble. lol. talk to you all later on. :D
♥ kristin
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| ♥ i know we're not meant to be |
[16 Apr 2004|03:04pm] |
♥ i'll finish talking about my friends later. right now, i need to talk about how i feel because it's just crazy. matt got kicked out of his house for being rude to his mom. and i don't blame her for doing it. i think that it's about time it happened. when i found out, i was almost happy. i couldn't help it. this means i don't have to see him walk down my street anymore. i don't have to see them coming in when i'm working, holding hands, and kissing eachother. it's okay i guess. i don't know, i'm just kinda relieved that i won't have to say good-bye or face him. i would've broken down if i had to say good-bye. i always did every time he went back to placement. the point of me talking about him getting kicked out is that now he's living in a crack neighborhood...with clair. so basically, i'm guessing that they're going to "get married" or whatever in october when he turns 18. so, it's a little bit of closure, but i'm still not entirely there. that's going to take a lot of time, if it ever completely goes away. i think that could take....years. blah..but i don't want to think about that.
♥ well, i should be working on the newspaper right now, so i guess i'm gonna leave it at that. i'll write more later on tonight, if i can. who knows. :D
♥ kristin
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| ♥ can't stand to be without you |
[14 Apr 2004|08:31pm] |
♥ no, that title is not for a certain someone that i talked about in the last entry. it's for my friends, the ones that i've been mistreating. i don't know where i'd be without them. hell, i wouldn't have begged my parents to stay in the shitty little town. i would've let them move me to a city in connecticut or arizona, you know? but because i have them, i don't want to leave. i want to write a little something for each of them in here, even if they'll never see it, it'll make me feel a little bit better.
♥ mi krittle: my bestest friend in the whole world. you've been feeling more of my wrath than anyone, and i feel so awful about that. you've been like a sister to me and listened to me bitch about anything and everything more than once, and you were the one who told me how i was acting. i'm glad it was you, though, because i don't think that i would've listened to anyone else. i know if i was being like that to you, though, that i must've been doing it to others, too. i'm glad that you're going to help me out because i really need it. lol. i need that kick in the ass when i don't realize i'm being a raging bitch. :D anyway, chica, i love you. and you know that. i can't wait to make the video. *wink*
♥ susan: i don't know how much of my wrath i gave you, but i'm sorry. you were there for me over the summer, and called me to check up on me all of the time. that meant a lot to me, and i wish i could be there for you more than i am. i realize that you have it a lot harder than i do, and you're one of the only people who can bring me back down to earth when i think that my life is getting bad. i have a lot of little things that you don't, and i take those things for granted more than anyone ever has. girlie, i luv ya so much.
♥ tanya: you didn't say anything to me about this, but i bet you got some of my wrath to a certain extent. we've been best friends since 7th grade, and even though it's not the same now, i'll always remember the great times we had. i'm sure there's more to come. we definitely have to hang out more, i'm gonna miss you when you leave next year. i <3 ya. :D
i'll add more later..i g2g for right now :D
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| ♥ guess it's too bad |
[11 Apr 2004|07:14pm] |
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story of the year "the hero will drown" |
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"i guess it's too bad that everything we had was taken away."
~story of the year
♥ well, i wrote a wicked long entry yesterday, and out of nowhere, my computer just locked up completely. whatever, though. i can write it now. i've got nothing better to do, except for maybe learning my spanish lines, but who really wants to do that? that's kinda stupid, right? lol. i'm such an angel child. 0:D
♥ saw matt again today, didn't say a god damn word to him. i talked to his mom yesterday (she's still cool shit) and she told me that he got fired from the video place for stealing. fucking retard. she asked him where all of his money was going, and i guess he kept saying that he was giving it to clair. yeah. like i believe that. try pot, maybe, but not just to clair. she's got a job and shit. why would all of his money be going to her? he never gave me money. why would he give her money? oh, right, maybe he loves her. heh, it's hard to believe we've been broken up for nine and a half months. it feels like it just happened like, 3 months ago. i guess that's a little weird, but maybe it's because i just stopped hanging out with him in february. at least i'm not heartbroken anymore. i'm ready to move on, right? ;D
♥ i like a few people..once again..but there's two people that no one would expect. well, krystle knows one of them, but the other one is my secret until i'm positive about it. he's the complete opposite of my normal. lol. he's, well, an abercrombie kid. sum it up enough for those of you who know me? haha, but i don't know. he's funny, and kinda cute. *blushes* and his name will not be written in here because everyone knows him, and i don't really trust them. lol. laura is the one who kinda made me realize how cool he is, but she doesn't know that i agree with her. i'd never admit it to her, because she's laura and would get all giggly and say "wow, you're going from the druggies to the preppies!!" even though this particular one isn't like a lot of the others. alright. that's enough. lol. :D and i guess i still like david a little. he's so hot. i'd bang him. haha.
♥ my mom's blood clot is gone!! :D that's a lot of weight lifted off of my shoulders. she found out on friday, and ever since, i've been really happy. it's funny, just one little thing helped me out a lot. i'm not quite "i hate my fucking life" anymore. i just need to gain a little more happiness and i'll be all set. you know what i'm sayin? ;D
♥ on friday, krystle, tanya, and i all went to the conference with mrs. neller. all we did was direct people around. it was okay; i bought a book. i've started reading it. can you believe it? i'm reading a book because i want to! i haven't done that in awhile! :D we just talked for most of the day about guys and relationships, typical girly shit. i asked the stupidest question ever. i asked them if i had ever been cheated on. krystle goes, "uh, yeah. duh. matt." and i cracked up. i couldn't believe that i had forgotten that. *smacks self* stupid, stupid!! all in all, it was just a day out of school, so it was cool.
♥ well, friday night, i went to the mall with krystle. we saw the guy from her driver's ed class. (he's HOT.) and we saw jeff and jackie, too. while we were talking to jackie, this group of black guys was staring at us and they were really creepy. they were watching krystle and i when we were walking, and the last time we went by them, we put our arms around eachother and one of them goes, "what the fuck is up with that?!" lol. i bought a bra, underwear, makeup, and a pink shirt from aeropostale. cool, huh? :D overall, it was fun.
♥ that's about all i have to say for today, kiddos. i'll write again soon...or at least i'll try to. :D i <3 you all.
♥ kristin
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| you let me violate you |
[08 Apr 2004|10:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 naughty |
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music |
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nin "closer" |
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~wow, i've never really realized how much this town sucks until this afternoon. krystle and i came home from school and went into to town, and guess what? there was nothing to do. not that it's a surprising thing if you live here, lol. we walked up to the skate park for the hell of it, and guess who came out of the video store? my darling matthew james. the funny thing is, on the way there, i was telling krystle how i hadn't seen him or talked to him in over a month. i cursed myself. damnit. why can't i just resist that urge to try to see him? david and rob came up shortly after, and then we saw alisha. david was chasing these two freshmen around, lol, one of them was wearing a skirt that was shorter than krittle's usually are. lol :D that's pretty damn short. and it was white. oh well, dave likes anything with a pussy i guess. i just think he's damn sexy. :D
~i've been really sick the past couple days. runny nose, annoying cough, sore throat. it all needs to go away. and i need to drink...hopefully i'll have a fun april vacation. heh. :D maybe i'll hang out with some people and get some weed..that'd be cool, too.
~so, krystle's staying over tonight and then we're going to the conference with tanya tomorrow. fun fun. we're getting dressed up..kinda. we're gonna look all smart. as smart as we can look, lol, krittle will probably be "mehing" around the whole place. and then i'll be laughing and "mehing" back. they're gonna think we're such retards after they met kate and megan last year. they're all good mannered and smart "study all the time" people. we're the complete opposite. meh. :D
~that's enough, though. i'll write again sometime..this is like, twice in one week. go me.
~kristin
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| the silence is deafening. |
[06 Apr 2004|09:27pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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music |
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none. silence. |
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~Well, things just continue to get better for me..if you consider that bad things heal you. I hate living here, in my house, in Goffstown. I can't wait to get out of here; it's the worst place in the world. I hate living in my house because there's a different fight between different people every night. Last night, it happened to be between my parents, and it was the worst one I've ever heard. They were screaming for like, three hours, and when I tried to play referee, my Dad went ballistic on me. That's all he ever does anymore. He yells and screams at everyone for no reason at all, but I don't want to get into why. I don't want the fake sympathy from people who think they "know" me and I don't need it getting around town, since people have nothing better to do than talk about shit like that.
~Also, I think I like someone that I really shouldn't. I don't want another Matt repeat, and I have a feeling that's where this relationship would lead to. My heart is so scarred because of what Matt did to me that I don't want to open up to anyone..ever again. It's the most horrible feeling, but really, can those of you who know the story blame me? Who would want to go through another thing like that? I know that I definitely refuse to let myself fall like that again. Why would I? That's insane. Until I find a nice guy that earns my trust, I'm not going to open up. Sure, I'll "see" people and talk with them or whatever, but I don't want another relationship until I'm positive it's with someone who I can trust not to break my heart. *sigh*
~My passion presentaion/project is finally over. Thank god. I don't have any articles written, and the paper's supposed to be done by Friday. I don't think that's going to happen. I don't think that we even have the money to print it, but I'm not sure. All I know is that I get to stay relly late tomorrow and work on it. *Jumps up and down* I can't wait. (not really) I love the paper, I jsut don't feel like having responsibilities right now. I don't want any to tell the truth. I don't even really want to work anymore. I just want to have a week of down time where I just sleep. That's all I really want. Well, that and some weed..or maybe some alcohol. I haven't gotten trashed since the summer, and that was a long time ago. I want to count my clean streak right now..Alcohol- March 26th, one shot if that counts. Weed- Feb. vacation. Sex- My birthday. That's like 3 months. AHH! lol. I'm sure I seem like a good, balanced kid now. :D Weee. I don't really care what people think anymore, though, because I'm going to live my life the way I want to live it. If I can succeed in school and still have fun, get wasted once and awhile, I think I'm living pretty good.
~Anyways, I think you've heard enough of this. I'll write again soon. :D Bye.
~Kristin
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| too much pressure to take |
[03 Apr 2004|07:40pm] |
~hello, strangers. i haven't written in an eternity, but there's nothing wrong with that. i've been so busy and stressed out that it's not even remotely funny. there's so much shit going on with me that i can't even sort it all out to get down to the reeal problem. i mean, i go up and down like a rollercoaster all of the time now. if one little thing happens that i don't like, i break down. i just shut down. i can't speak, because if i do, i'll flip a bitch on someone. i can't eat, because i feel like i'm going to throw up if i do. all i want to do is sleep. my whole life feels like it's going down the drain. i feel, once again, like no one cares about me. i feel like all of my friends are sick of me and don't want me around. they make plans in front of me and don't ask me to go, so maybe i'll just keep to myself from now on. i miss the days when everyone was happy and all wanted to hang out together. god, i wish i was still in 8th grade with the friends i had then. we were all just hanging out together at school and outside of school and weren't all paired off. back then, it was me, sarah, heidi, ben, josh, justin, and sometimes a few others. there were no couples. there was no one sucking face all of the time. there were no fights and no drop outs. we were all just generally happy hanging out together, and that was nice. i liked it when things were like that. i don't even talk to justin, sarah, or heidi anymore. they're all too busy to remember that we used to be friends. josh is busy outside of school, and in school, he doesn't really talk to me a whole lot. ben, well, i still talk to him somewhat, but not like i used to. sorry, i'm just reminiscing right now. i just hate the way everyone's too busy for me now.
~the stress of school won't go away, either. my class load is bogging me down to the point where i had to ask to not work during the week. i'm finally done with my passion project, but i still have to present in front of all those people. *cringes*
~god, i gotta go. fucking parents. ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! i can't take the pressure much longer..:-\
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| blast from the past |
[19 Mar 2004|10:59pm] |
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mood |
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flirty |
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music |
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NIN "Closer" |
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woohoo. tonight was interesting to say the very least. but it was fun. i went to good times with krystle again and there was a guy who came up to me. he said that i looked familiar, and he looked familiar to me, too. after a few seconds, i said "you're chad, aren't you?" and he said yeah. then i told him who i was, and it was awkward. [note]for those of you who don't know, when i was going out with matt, chad tried to kiss me and matt pushed him so hard that he fell and split his head open.[/note] so yeah. it was kinda weird, but we started get along well. really well. before i knew it, he was all over me, holding my hand, kissing me on the cheek and the neck..it was just odd. he's not my type at all; he's a complete wigger. i was just going with the flow of things, and i think i like him a little. not relationship wise, just attraction. he looked so hot....and he was wearing a wife beater. that's my absolute weakness when it comes to guys. *drools* before the night was over, i ended up kissing him a bunch of times and shit. god, it was fun. :D [edit]i know some of my friends are gonna read this and be like "wtf you're so stupid" but just remember, this was all in fun.[/edit]
i have a lot to write about, but i wanna go to sleep. i'm so tired. i just wanted to write about chad. and congrats krittle. you got seth kisses. :D
~kristin
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